By Darrel Wang
PSE PRO Tactical Head Coach
“Only those who have walked in darkness can see great light.”
2018 has been my toughest year to date.
In chronological order, I:
• separated from a very successful career in the military
• moved to a state that I’ve never spent time in
• was declined a job promotion for the first time (twice)
• experienced the death of my father
• am spending Christmas by a candlelit computer screen, writing this article, alone
All of these events transpired, seemingly, back-to-back-to-back; in a sense I feel like I just wasn’t able to “catch up”.
But that’s just it, isn’t it?
I was at a Christmas Eve church service here in Scottsdale last night and the pastor gave a sermon about finding “peace”.
Although the message was targeted towards about five people in the audience going through the darkest of times, the rest of the room banded together, nodded their heads and, as church-goers know, out burst a synchronized “mm-hmm”.
The point of that story was that for the five people in a room filled with 900, you’re not alone. And you will never be.
If the shoe fits for you, I’m telling you that it does get better.
Whether you’re spending the holidays alone, in a shitty plywood-lined dorm room somewhere in the Middle East, or in a minimally-occupied airport because your flight was cancelled, you really are not, truly, alone.
As misery loves company it can be a toxic environment to be around people that spend most of their days bitching about how the weather was too cold, that their boss is “the worst”, or that their spouse won’t stop pestering them about insert chore here.
Take personal responsibility in creating the outcome or peace that you’re seeking. If that means meditation (which, for all of you, you should be doing anyway), spending an entire day only using positive-self-talk, or finding resolutions instead of talking about the problem, do it. Once that plan of action starts to take place, see how quickly things start to turn around for you.
It would be so easy for me to spend my time alone thinking about Cancer, how it took my father’s life, and how miserable he was while going through chemotherapy. However, I can tell you that from experience, the biggest positive change occurred when I started reflecting on the brightest times that my father and I would have – sitting in his backyard, drinking coffee, and enjoying the beautiful Southern California sunrise.
The “shift” in your life can only occur when you try to change the way that you see and process things… internally.